Jason Peterson, Writer...er

10. You Know, That One By The Author Who Writes All Those Crime Books, But Kind Of Literary? 9. Oh God, It’s Right On The Tip Of My Tongue - I Think It Rhymes With Horse 8. That Book - It’s Romantic, But Not Like Romance Romantic 7. It’s That One They Made Into The Netflix Series. Or Was It on Prime? …Tubi? 6. Honey, What Was That Book I Read On The Plane? No, Not To Chicago, To Florida 5. It's By That Guy...I Think He Died? 4. Oh Man. I Literally Just Finished It. Senior Moment! 3. Gosh…I’m Kind of Embarrassed To Say I Liked It. No Such Thing As A Guilty Pleasure Though, Am I Right? 2. Ahhhh…I’m So Close! 1. Um...Moby Dick? I Started Reading It This Year. I Mean, I Thought About Starting to Read It This Year.

Hello Dad, So Mom just sent me the song and...wow. I mean, first of all, the fact that you didn’t even send it to me yourself is just so *you.* You should make that the last verse of the song! But I digress. Let’s dive into some of these lyrics, shall we? Okay, so right off the bat, there’s this: “He learned to walk while I was away.” Really, Dad? You’ve always told me you were there for my first steps! There’s even a picture with what you’ve said were your outstretched arms I was supposedly toddling into. I have it framed on my desk right in front of me! And now I have to learn - in song form - that it was all a lie? Whose arms are in this picture, Dad?  Speaking of lies, let’s move on to that baseball anecdote in the second verse. Why yes, I do recall when you gave me a baseball for my tenth birthday and then - when you had literally just given me a ball as a gift - you suddenly had “a lot to do” and didn’t teach me how to throw it! On my birthday! What kind of sociopath does tha